Hiding in the Boiler Room at St. Pat’s
it was an accident
yes i rang the old school bell
yes i threw it
but not at the base of statue Mary
that toppled slower than slow
hit
snapping off her head
it rolled toward the exit
i ran like a frightened thief
down to the boiler room
i stayed hidden
so long
i’ve forgotten
why and where i was hiding
my mind
formed jaws of
don’t crawl and burrow
beneath this holy gravel
of guilt and fear anymore
life gathered much to be sorry for
that’s for sure
i still examine the guilt rocks
one at a time
to let light and warmth
fill the dark boiler room of me
shaking
pure shiny flawed raw
Contrition
Why does that holy man count beads
Is it guilt spilling out like altar wine
Or a man in need of contrition
The truth is in the vines
It’s too much like living
When the vines intertwine
My feet are stretched behind me
Looking for a sin
My head is in the oven
Searching for my friend
I’m not fighting evil
I’m not fighting wrong
I’m not here to sing my only song
But there’s smoke in the attic
There is fire on the snow
The goblins are eating children
Because there’s nowhere for them to go
It’s morning somewhere
And the sun is shining low
Coffee is brewing
Like the blackness of a soul
The rain is falling like nails from the sky
I’m not here to whimper
I’m not here to die
I’m just in from the forest
It's time to join the fight
School Prayer
I lost my first poem.
It was written to my mother
after Sister John Nun
spanked my knuckles
with a blessed yardstick.
Something I said about her flying
like a winged newspaper
if the wind was right.
Jesus, my hands hurt.
I lost it somewhere in the playground.
Backpack Soul
It sags like a heavily-soaked dishrag
My backpack soul
Tattered
Ripped
Bleeding
Danced on
Held warm under my chin
Laughed
Cried and slept on
Tossed aside
Gunky in spots
Shiny in others
A dirty gray
(Careful not to say black)
Don’t show me yours
Perched on your back like a saint
Fingers pinching the corners
Dangling pale pure
(Careful not to say white)
Do you wash yours regularly
I tried dry cleaning mine
Decontamination seems my only option
How do I rinse the muddy water
And dense fog out
The contents are stacked
With counterfeit truths
That bought counterfeit fears
I hope stuffing it with love will save me
From the hot guilt Sister Holy Sister
Tattooed bead by bead on my brain
Dante’s flame
Haunting my ups and downs
I carry the pack like a friend
Who bends my spine to and fro
Standing in the Corner
It was Second Grade
Sister Patricia pinched my ear like a dirty towel
and put me and my nose in the corner
My resistance was humming back into my face
I felt guilt’s implant dancing
Dancing on the bar at Harold's Place
Sister said
Too many rhymes make bad boy books
Behind her black beads hid
Everything they took
Standing on the corner
Me and the devil chewing gum
The wildness inside me
Is a piece of the man I’ve become
Too many wrinkles now
A little less pizazz
Not just blues
Not just rock
Not just jazz
In the corner is where
I started humming the sound of the sun
And what set my shoes pointing south
On highway fifty-one
Hard to Tell
7 angry children in the middle of the road
Shabby little prophets
Hungry and bold
They’ve got one foot in heaven
One in hell
It looks like they’re praying
But it's hard to tell
Looks like they’re praying
But it's hard to tell
2 fallen angels singing in the wings
Second-hand statues trying to get in
They've got one foot in heaven
Two in hell
It looks like they're crying
But it's hard to tell
Looks like they're crying
But it's hard to tell
There’s a thin place calling at half past 12
Should I buy or should I sell
I’m 10 steps from heaven
One from hell
Seems like the long way
But it's hard to tell
Seems like the long way
But it's hard to tell
Lord almighty it’s so hard to tell
Garbage the Poem
My brain needs a good scrubbing
pressure washing perhaps
Boxes and crud are collecting like a hoarder moved in
It isn’t toxic waste
Just life’s grease being squeezed
into my eyes
i have been trying to write this idea
this poem
this ode to love
the thoughts dart around like a school of lost fish
so wads of good intentions
surround my waste can
I go back through the crumples
like a raccoon rummaging
through a garbage can
Love
Must
be
in here
some-damn
` where…
My pen and I sit
peering
out the streaked window
waiting for my prodigal muse to come home.
Horns and Thorns
Evil has sharp-tipped horns
Not Lucifer or Beelzebub horns
Invisible horns
Erupting like tiny spears out of
(or is that into) humanity’s head
Sharply corrupting
Blaming and crushing
For power money and the affliction of
More more more
Swords and guns drawn
Selling the addiction of inflicting pain
Dancing on the ceiling of bottomless delight
The rose watches without watching
Beauty will take no part in evil’s ugly dance
Her pedals are soft skin goodness
The thorn
Her bodyguard
Never beholds her beauty
Even when her beauty wilts and blackens
He guards
With beauty of his own
Until he too withers down
Evil sharpens its dark grin
Goodness waits patiently
Knowing the thorn’s chivalry will sprout again
The Puzzle
Mirror shards scatter in my thoughts
glimpses of a child
in pieces forgotten.
Cutting my memory
each step bloodies my feet,
like dull cold into soft flesh.
Images break,
and light bounces everywhere,
like God.
Flashes of pleasure and pain,
specs of good and evil,
strobes of joy and sorrow.
When lonely,
I hold the small mirrors close
and look.
I can’t see the nature of this boy.
He stowed away
like a pauper in jagged glass
on the floor of my life.
Sand Pebble
I am sitting near the sea
just another sand pebble
but with eyes, a face, and thought
The vastness swallows me
like a blue whale inhales krill
My mind rows out to deep water
to the no-one-knows depths
where books can’t swim
Is God hanging out everywhere or
just where I can’t see her
Did kiss of love and fist of hate splash into the sea
inside the same star-seed… or separately
Are the stars blameless for this homo sapiens snafu
100 years after my tide goes out
no one will know my glint of being
and the moon will still look on yawning
I hear my mother’s voice softly over the waves
“It’s ok, it’s ok. Mommy’s here”
The sky billows a smile
and turns away
A Crab
crabby-walks
by
like he owns the place
which he does
he and I
Me
There can only ever be one me
After my first innocent breath of light
I latched myself onto life
Weaned and gleaned into me
No one knows my me story
I don’t remember its whole truth myself
Freezing for attention
The real me is still hiding under my childhood sofa
I do know my essence is unique
Everyone’s me is
Mine is a rickety totem built with each breath and thought
A million-act play of rights and wrongs story
An angry boy-man’s slow melt to kindness
The coward who ran and hero who stood
The worries that chewed my brain to the nub
The middle of the night hard rain tears
The laugh because I can’t stop from laughing
Intimate eyes that dove naked into my soul-pond
The passionate bite of desire
The love that poured over me like clear warm water
Those loves who walked to the far side of the moon
And brought me home to flower colors blazing under a blue sky
Looking up with old eyes to the birds’ easy flight I wonder
Where is the “me” for those who never grew old
Swatted dead after one breath One year Five years Ten years
Inside my eyes are tiny lantern lit universes
Trying to see the unseeable star we came from
Within old and new joy
Beyond the opaque veil of youth too soon taken
Love stands with sunshine arms open
Bicycle
My youth
on an old bicycle
rode up and by
no fenders or kick-up stand
missing a chain guard
its one-speed teeth
set to snare
another pant leg
Old rust spotted chrome handlebars
Tires worn down to balloon skin
The hand-me-down of all hand-me-downs
It was perfect!
The rider
A boy almost eight was deep within himself
his dog Flipper chased a rabbit across a busy
road and never returned
Unaware in eighty-seven days
his father would be dead
of some sudden septic something or other
There was no one on the handlebars
no bell or light or reflector or mirror
It moved by quick slow
As the boy rolled off
he got gradually older
somehow the bicycle got newer
Bicycle cont.
He kept moving away
but I could still see him as clear as clear
like
I was running
backwards
in front of him
witnessing the ride
He fell many times
looked back
and grimaced
and smiled and cried
and laughed and peddled on
I ran
to catch and help
this uncatchable one-way traveler
and hop on
his shiny chrome
and polished red bike
before what the old man
remembered
was
forgotten
Too Much Between
May polished its flowers
Paraded its green
Especially for you
I thought you were ambrosia
Not meant for consumption
By mortals such as me
All summer we walked and talked
Together—you a year older
Made me prince of Hegeler Park
The theater flickered
Black and white
The smell of popcorn
In the balcony
I numbed my lips on yours
My head swelled and caught fire
But my trousers didn’t stir
Puberty, you dark hairy stranger!
Streetlights watched us home
Our silhouettes stretching
Corner to corner
Shadows
Walking toward September
Your girlfriend said you were sorry
I fell
Like an anvil into a deep well
My eyes glazed over
Clawing for the surface
I didn’t believe
You could be wheedled
Into back seats
Or lean stiff jeans
I went to your school
My fawn heart camouflaged
In the huge locker hall
Thrashing silently in the notion
That next year I’d be with you
Gliding by like beauty itself
You didn’t notice me
My lips as brittle as thin ice
My eyelids wilted petal
Ripples
I see the ripples on my childhood creek
I close my eyes to the massage of its soft rhythm
Skinny dipping filled with the noise of youth
The fast water waiting like it knew I was coming
Those intimate life friends always come back
Like music that knows the star I came from
Singing to the moment I am feeling
Hundreds of times a day I think of love received along the way
It seems like a lot
But love doesn’t keep count
Are my words a circular dead-end or
Me grasping at why I am so blessed
I look up and see these clown-faced clouds making fun of me
Can’t they see I’m paranoid
The sand in my hourglass is racing thin to the bottom
I try yet again to turn it over
Only to find it welded to my life
White Noise
I am on the outside looking long
Through a window curved like a time-spoon
I see me inside my childhood house
Adjusting the antenna of a black and white tv
Its rotor from forgotten times
Cluckity clucking away toward rare clarity
In our young eyes
The images appear like high-def magic
Robin Hood with Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland
Their true hearts and arrows giving to the poor
And without a spec of fuzz to look past
My brother Fred yells, “Stop! Keep it right there.”
The antenna was pointed at Chicago
That scary place to the east of us
Screen snow starts to slowly cover
Our too soon irretrievable heroes
My younger brother Don sighs, “Oh, man…”
Me outside the curved window
With white noise eyes
Whatchamacallits
Don’t know when
I stopped using concrete nouns
It’s not as though they stopped being
what
they are
Those things on the counter…
that stuff in the jar
My RAM brain is full of sick news
I point at what
my memory misplaced
Thingamabobs
all
over
the place
Dylan sang don’t think twice
But just thinking once would light the light
that thought drifted off
late last night
Damn Damnit damn
Where are my whatchamacallums
HELPHELP
I can’t go far
I can’t find those doohickies
that start my car
Awake Part 1
I was born at sunrise
A shiny mother’s son
Put my shoes on backwards
Learned how to run
Walked into midnight
Felt a freeze in my veins
Sat waiting on the doorstep
His tomorrow never came
You see I’m on a sacred journey
I will never understand
The inside of my eye
Is a universe expanse
My right foot’s been wrong before
As my heel hits the floor
Muddle doesn’t know how to care
Standing on my thumb
O drunken Highway 51
Looking for some distance somewhere
Frightened and besieged
Too soft for comfort
Too hard to relieve
Stabbed with loss and confusion
A scarecrow was staring at my fear
A bar on every corner
A thief begging for the cure
Numbness too often lied to be heard
Lurking in a man’s charade
My war-number was pulled from an old white man’s grenade
Left my wife and 14-day-old daughter
Almost as brave as a coward
I flew 9,000 miles to the zone
Saw the flag-shrouded boxes of our youth going home
Mothers, fathers, wives, children, family, friends, all there crying
It took me a year to say fuck LBJ
Put a flower in my muzzle
And left my naïveté to die in the jungle
Too fast to remain so slow
Awake Part 2
Home with my rhymes lost in angry
I wore my jungle hat like a green badge of discouraged
Wondering about America the deceitful
58,220 dead 300,000 wounded (average age 22)
Yasgur's farm was just up the road
Hair and attitude were growing like the cries for peace
When love and responsibility slapped me awake
I learned Windsor knots and wingtip shoes
And marched off this time to buy the greenback dream
A newly lit cigar and proud blissful strut
Was buried with a weight no person could lift
On that impossible day
Staring across the field was the scarecrow crying for him
I left for the big-shoulder city
It blew fresh wind into our hearts…smog into my face
Pearl number three arrived to join mom and her sis
New life was buzzing in the spaces we miss
A Musing
Damn you muse
can you stop bugging me for one day?
These ink droppings
look like an infant
grabbed my pen
and scribbled a sonata
onto a moist Kleenex…
The notes got sucked into
porous silence.
What’s the point of this affair?
Nothing rhymes anymore
and when it does
I can’t sing it.
You want me to write
my Homeric tale
my hero life
of cowardice
and bravery
in 100 words or less.
Okay, I will.
Get out!
Hard Rain Tears
Shattered at eight years old
The smooth road my father built for us
Became rutted gravel after his sudden death
The hard rain still flows
Through me and straight out my eyes
Although it isn’t the rain
The cold is what crushes my veins
I wonder how only a few myths
Evolved into stone and steeples
Enduringly beautiful for millions
Soulless and deadly to millions of others
Science culled out the cloud-sitter and thunderbolt gods
Divine feminine was tossed aside with Eve’s apple
With blind faith of good male writers
Savvy sales kicked in
I’m out here with my thumb pointing west
Wondering how many smooth and bumpy miles
to my dad’s front porch
To the soft bright light we hear so much about
It doesn’t make me lost not knowing the unknowable
Nothing over my shoulder can fill my canteen with water
Threads of Something
Plunging into art
A walk on the surface of the moon
Star watch for nights glowing
Insanely wild on rainbow mysteries
Maybe this Einstein knew what he was talking about
We are in and of the miracle
Our legs hang over the garden wall
Like threads of something forgotten or not yet at all
Is the god particle laughing in our face or behind our backs while having lunch with the fish and the trees
We dance around our books
like there is an answer inside to be adored and worshiped
Our holy scrolls sewn together to sell a pair of sandals or space odyssey
If no one knows what is there to know
I don’t call it nothing
This Yin and Yang marathon
This good and evil Iron Man extravaganza.
This love and hate serenade killing us like the infestation we have become
The cosmic soup of too much and too little of everything
Pass that good book like smoking weed with all that bad shit inside
Bookmark carefully
You must wonder how many chapters there are in this tiny miracle
This one-in-a zillion zillion zillion lottery win
Starving for a stroke of genius to color the blinding white of day
The mystical stories
The ancient lies
The enigmas and myths and ordered chaos guide me to see myself
Out
Real Clouds
I’m sitting outside pen-tip blotting a sheet of plain white paper. It feels like I should be swirling words, those magical twirls of thought. But what words? Sometimes words flow like liquid salad, too fast really as they slip through my brain’s fingers never to be seen again. Tragic. Other times my mind gets constipated and put into solitary confinement.
There is a cloud overhead laughing its ass off (no, literally, its ass broke away and vapored off). I drift mindlessly into my iPhone that only awakens when I swipe or tickle or poke its deadness. Floating away the cloud’s mouth twists and says, “Look back down, you might find the glory of the words you seek inside that tiny monolith. There’s nothing out here when you’re not here.”
Circle
We sit in a circle.
Live in roundabout realities.
Thoughts of infinite straight lines
circle back
inside our thoughts as circles
and ovals
and connected swirls.
The moon watches us.
We spin and watch too
on the shoulders of mother earth
stuck with air glue
we orbit the sun.
We and the earth and the sun soaring around and around
going who-knows-where inside a glass jar
that sits on the far corner of God’s desk.
Will it be ourselves we find again and again
as we keep circling and seeking?
Or will a Googolplexian of universes close
behind and around us, hiding God in our mirror.
Look at our circle of faces, and
follow the line around.
We are the beginning and the end.
In singularity to all others ever and forever
our round faces
as small and large as they will ever be.
Cows Chasing Dolphins
I am of a time when the cows came home
where magic summers disappeared
like virginity and dust on a gravel road
I must sing the blues to happy
when heartache tries to strangle my me
To write to the top of my lungs
and dance outrageously on my wheels of age
To break my mirror of smiles and lies
and burn off the fog of anger and regret
I want my blue eyes back
shining young
where love was a warm bath
of skin and thought.
To swim the dolphin’s glide
in love’s deep waters
toward the shore I came from
One True Thing
With his candle burned down
Diogenes fell to his knees
“There must be honesty somewhere,” he sobbed.
I look
Maybe there’s one true thing
Under the next bridge that will jump out
Like a rabid squirrel and bite my brain
Better I should follow that raindrop down to the sea
My head is packed full
Like a ball of frayed twine or fishing line gone wrong
This tangle
Cannot be put on a thumb drive
Even if it could
The files are tossed about like confetti
Most of my good thoughts went to spam
Or accidently got trashed, misplaced, or forgotten
Yes, it’s messy in here
Is it in the joyous sweat of mom’s newborn gaze
The deep pure-water love of true eyes
The schoolboy’s first real kiss before any thorns grow
She who saw the better me… better than me
Or is it hiding
In the genius of an insane artist’s masterpiece
Or
Fried eggs
Crispy bacon and hash browns perfectly soft and crispy
Etcetera is for when the search is in everywhere
This precious smoke we inhale into our hearts…
And hold it there as long as we can.
In the fields
The bees
Without complaint
Go about their work
Never asking the obvious question of us
“How are you helping?”
I put a mauve orchid pedal between my lips
To see if I could taste the sunshine
Picture This
A mother's mother capturing yesterday,
up close like the baby is here and not there.
All these glimpses of this's and that’s
are what cue our memories to visit later
after life takes his little hand,
and walks off with him.
Us too.
Older than just now and
younger than before the shutter snaps,
she takes our pictures with her heart.
She wants to be behind the lens,
to freeze it all in a warm frame.
Unaware that we see her as the perfect picture,
she clicks away.
View
From here
it looks like the trees tops
have torn the sky
with tiny jagged rips.
Is it an unfinished mural
Or
has a wall of ancient graffiti
telling me everything
tragically been painted over?
Is the car driving in front of you your reality?
It might not exist
after it turns the next corner.
The phone rings and
a server
enters your good ear.
The caller doesn’t dream
or care if your loneliness
is breathing.
You say hello
to a speck on a microchip,
grateful
any (no) one
is calling.
Your doubt hugs the hallway
feeling for a way out.
View cont.
The hall pretends it’s your friend
promising to take you back
swimming
as you once did
as a get-there-first
guileless seed.
You wonder
if God is a computer app
bugged
in need of upgrading
Your eyes switch
Off
On
New Suit
Cadence rhythm rhyme
The backbeat tapping to Earth’s twirling time
I’m going downtown to buy a new suit and tie
I’ve stepped in too many puddles to look shabby on a sunny day
(If we ever get one again)
I am writing a song in C
When I can only sing in G
I will wrap my gnarled fingers around a ghost guitar
Stuff Bocelli and Tom Waits in my vest pockets
And sing the shit out of that thing
A woman with deep-soul eyes just waded into mine
She undressed me into boyhood
How did she do that
I didn’t come here for my song or $500 loafers
It’s in here somewhere or maybe in my iPhone
That Jesus-love we hear so much and practice too little
I adjust my new tie in a mirror
That has seen much joy and more suffering
I hug my cloths like old friends and walk out into the twirl
A wink of sun quiets my face to greet the miracle of being
Dimmer Switch
Dimly lit
crags sags and lines on my face
are drawn with the weight I dragged and carried
Did my youth run off
like a frightened fawn
and pop up in my mirror one morning
drenched with old age
No
the gait was relentlessly slow
the hourglass somehow quickened though
and my face kept pace
I fear too much light and an open lens will expose
my thousand blemishes
hundreds of scars
a grab bar taunting me under my chin
bags and jowls instead of grape-tight skin
But
city and rural lights didn’t squint my eyes to see less
I saw evil put wrinkles in hearts and faces
I hacked through the jungle of right and wrong
Beauty and love found me layered with life
And smoothed the soul beneath my skin
framed and beautifully flawed on my tiny canvas
I turned the dimmer off to light up this one-of-kind work-of-art
Woman
Island
Mirage
Mist
Rock
Sky
Whispers
Comfort
Sand is your home
Salt is who you are
The sun shines on you like greatness.
A hairy foot on your throat
for ten thousand years
you've known the language of freedom
yet didn't dare speak it.
The desert knows your name
as you place one foot ahead of the other,
carrying hope like water.
Huge Square Hole
I dreamed I could see myself standing
Directly in the middle
of a freshly dug hole
A perfect 50-foot square 30 feet deep
No-way-out hole
What was it? Its meaning?
Was I puzzled by my smallness
doomed to the forever
of being insidethebox?
Has this corona spore and old age brought my demise into exaggerated focus?
Has the isolation dug
a hole in my brain
with its anti-social shovel?
Was the universe dark dirt
filled with emptiness?
I’m not ready to hear the dirt land hard on the lid.
So, after many hours of sleepless contemplation, interpretation, and Freudian rosary beads the answer breached like a gigantic killer whale.
It was a huge square hole with me standing in the middle.
What Door
What door must I go through
One is surrounded by morning glories
Softer than the light they reflect
One falls into a ravine full
Of prickles and snakes
One shows light through
Coal-black darkness
Another is but red bricks
Behind them I hear
A rocking chair wheezing
Still another is locked
With the key inside
Where love dances like a pixie
To the softness of Chopin
One has a divan facing an open door
With your posed body
Savagely seductive
My heart beats
With the oneness of a thousand drums
For entry
The door slams in my mind
Startled to still be breathing
I walk to the end of the hall
And stare out
The window
Park Bench
A young woman
sat on the park bench
next to his gripes and old bones.
Her face was known yet unknown.
Her voice was like his mother’s, as soft as warm rain.
When she said hello, her deep eyes
dove inside his window
and occupied him
like an army of goodness.
They talked…
the June sun skittered across the sky.
His life stories spilled into her sanctuary.
She would say, “I know” a lot.
And she did.
If a lie tripped from his lips, she would say,
“You don’t need bullshit with me.”
Her words were daggers of understanding.
He listened like never before.
No birds heard, or cars,
or playground noise—
Only her speaking,
like she knew every ounce of him.
And she did.
Her stories spoke a truth
that broke open his bones and filled them.
She slid over, touched him, and whispered,
“You have what’s in a man
that makes a woman love him.”
He wanted to kiss her.
Hold her.
Be deep inside a slow dance of her.
He closed his quivering lids with a tight blink.
When he opened them,
his life ended there without ovation.
Searching for Bones
The narrow road isn’t
a dog-eared page
It isn't a parade
of dead flowers
It isn't narrow
a road or dead at all
It's a tear drop
gasping for breath
It's a holy mountain
weeping dry sand
It's a mother’s heat
in a cold room
It's milk and bread
on the way home
It's a whistling walk
without feet or sight
It’s a grassy path
painted on rock canvass
It's a garden's wink
at tomorrow's sun
It's the rippled dance
of quiet water
It’s a sparrow’s question
over a river burning
It’s a fin whale
crying in the sea
It’s a singed redwood
praying for rain
It's the web–thin glow
in a spider’s calm
It's a neuron soldier's
flittering song
It's a lover’s quilt
frayed with yesterdays
It's the backside
of hands and stars
It’s forgotten eyes
open and bleeding
It's a mirror shard
in the eye of morning
Stop this madness!
I look up. The clouds and their endlessness of never being the same grip my eyes and breaks the grind of seeking. A dog without a tail just stopped running and his legs ran off without him. There’s a fish up there swimming toward another sea of air. Small whales, a large bi-legged ant. My eyes stare and dart like there’s something I’m missing. This showing is for me alone, no DVR here. Just then a stranger pops up with jutted jaw and disjointed nose, angry, facing backwards chasing a vapor thief in his rearview mirror. A ghost is winking at me like it knows something. Looks like Bob Marley dancing toward happy on a reggae jet stream.
Back on the ground a heron and three sandhill cranes peck and strut. The lizards use their guile to stay green and whole. I don’t know what the hell the squirrels are doing. The dogs and cats and trees and snakes and owls and flowers and bees and bugs don’t care about metaphor — they don’t ponder now, before, or after, or have any questions at all.
Searching for Bones cont.
Who will search for our baffled bones or know our trampled ash once the goddess of cognition is done having her way with us?
Kiss
I dreamed I kissed a cobra on the nose
In return it bit mine
A bird sang
I took flight
Like air itself
A smiling earth below
Twirling on the kiss of myth
My eyes opened
Like doors to my mother’s love
I was going home
Explosion
Pushing my wheelchair up the road
Singing a song my brother wrote
The sky was earth blue
The treetops’ sunshine-green swayed
I opened my arms
And my every atom exploded quietly
into the universe
You’ve Come a Long Way
I’m 5000 tons of stone
The skin that wraps around your bones
Not helping or standing in your way
I was here before you ever came
I’m a myth floating in your eye
Not underground or in the sky
The voice you see in your mirror
The sound you will never hear
I’m a universe the size of a dime
The answer you will never find
It doesn’t matter what you say or do
I’m the inside and outside of you
You’ve come a long way
You’ve come a long way
You’ve come a long way
But you don’t know who I am
Anam Cara (Soul Friend)
The sound deep down
Quiets my soul
The music I strum
Like something I know
The words on the table
Her face in my head
A place where I can go
Anam Cara
Talks to my soul
Hear my laughter
O hear me cry
I’ve been to the mountain
And tasted your wine
I’ve stood on your shoulders
And fallen behind
But you never let me go
Anam Cara
Keeping me whole
Anam Cara
Lights up my soul
Anam Cara
The clay and the stone
Anam Cara
As deep as it goes
Anam Cara
Anam Cara
I don’t fear the lightning
I don’t fear the storm
When I shake in the darkness
You keep me warm
Your love is a candle
When I’m alone
Anam Cara
Lights my way home
Anam Cara
Lights up my soul
Anam Cara
The clay and the stone
Anam Cara
As deep as it goes
Anam Cara
Anam Cara
Anam Cara
Anam Cara
She quiets my soul
today
today,
you look fucking gorgeous
you look gorgeous
today
today,
you look
you
today
you
Morning Musings
Eggs and Honey
You are like eggs.
As scrumptious as you are
sunny side up,
the very next morning
I get an intense craving
for over easy.
Saturday’s Love
The kitchen table
toast crumbs float
on coffee puddles
like sawdust bogs.
A milk-drunk cornflake
flops unconscious off
my spoon into the slough.
We stretch, then sag…
tangled fish-line hair,
night’s crinkles still deep in our skin.
Then the morning glint of your face—
I want to kiss your corky lips,
and devour my toast.
We Are Love (Poem Version)
We are love
We are children
We are seeds from stars above
We were made to love each other
Come on people, we are love
We are howls in the jungle
We are dolphins in the sea
We are grass, deserts, mountains
We are insects
We are trees
We are, we are love. We are we are love.
Guns are gods on the altar
Sacrifices must be made
Sandy Hook to Columbine
Trigger fingers digging graves
Fill bread baskets with dead children
The metal gods must be fed
How much blood will it take
Before the wailing turns your head
Greed is bad, so feed the hungry
Hatred eats away the soul
We are all the same religion
Breathe the love that makes you whole
Stop the bombs, stop the terror
Stop the rage at home tonight
Imagine all our children
Living safe in peace and light
Bunny
Did a sweet wind blow you into my life?
Once a friend said,
“She’ll warm you forever, if you don’t screw things up.”
Did you see a cocky angry tempest of an unsure boy
or
the man inside, desperately trying to breathe the stormy air?
Do flowers have passion because you see them?
When I said to myself,
“I want her with lava fever in my veins!”
Did you see a hard, angry boy
or
the man inside who made love to you?
Is friendship the skin you wear?
They told me,
“Don’t take life’s soft treasures for granted.”
Did you then see a careless, hard, angry boy
or
the man who needed your skin to survive.
You are the night’s gentle hand.
I was in black water, screaming.
You saw a frightened, careless, hard, angry boy
and
stilled the howl with your touch,
and loved the man you awakened.
Transcendence
You have touched me
below my breasts
where I do not remember feeling
Only what just passed between us
like a soothing storm
Tingling drifts into stillness
Our bed stops me
from floating to the floor
or dropping
like an anvil
from a high dream
Your face
a lamplight
washed with rain
showing pure in darkness
You held my soft hands
and lesser arms
You urged their soft stroke
and found me hiding
in my lame mansion
You watched my crazy dancing
cried with me when I lost my step
Awakened me
On this bed we sleep
Three Pearls
It is an honor being loved by you.
You bring smooth luster to my life.
May that love somehow outlive
the earth and the stars,
to shine in some forever with a light of its own.
Always giving what I’ve had from the start
My girls
My pearls
The pearls of my heart.
Tsunami
When love
like a tsunami
goddess
Washes over
your
eyes
ears
heart
and caresses
to the surface
the purity of you
You cannot drown
Its flood
will buoy you
to need the
waves of
words
passion
lips and
skin
Slowly becoming
warm ripples
to swim freely in
the goddess
Of yes
Promise
You're not alone
Don't be afraid baby
I am yours
And always will be
Nothing
No, nothing
Nothing's gonna hurt you
Hurt you now
It can't end this way
You know me darling
I am yours
It's all I can be
That's why I'm saying nothing
Oh, nothing
Nothing's gonna hurt you now
[Chorus]
[vocalizations]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
[falsetto]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
[Bridge]
[distorted electric guitar solo with expressive bends]
Kiss the sun
Feel the warmth on your face
My lips are here
Kiss and take the blue, blue, blue away
Nothing
No, no, nothing
Nothing's gonna, nothing's gonna hurt you now
[Outro]
Open up my soul
You will see
Our love is waiting, waiting, waiting
Come on home to me
Nothing
Oh, nothing
I'm saying nothing's gonna hurt you now
[guitar solo continues]
[vocalizations]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
Nothing's gonna hurt you now
[music fades out]
Quilt From A Woman’s Heart
Love
Woven in from beginning to end
Empathy
The strong thread of kindness
Nurture
the soft fabric of caring
Pain
her hard-rain tears
Pleasure
shared like the smile of a child
Suffering
carried like rocks inside
Joy
the luminous sister of love
Grieving
gripped deeper than words
Laughter
the sound that fills the soul
Anger
Sewn in just in case
Lovemaking
as close as I can get
Secrets
I never need to know
Trust
like eyes that see the real me
Resolve
forged into iron over thousands of years
Wisdom
stitched into each
Truth
the warmth and challenge inside
Human
every inch
Perfect, no… but as brave and beautiful as morning
Put Your Love On
Take off your face
Put it under your chair
Your poison breath is wilting the air
The scowl you’ve been drinking
Isn’t what you’re made of
Take off your blinders
And put on your love
Take off your banner
Take off your sway
Take your bullets and throw them away
Take off your trousers
All splattered with blood
Scrub off the hate
And put on your love
Take off your Christian
Take off your Jew Take off your Islam
Your atheist too
Take off your cloak all covered in mud
Take off those beads
And put on your love
Take off that hat
Take off your seethe
Howling at rainbows is no way to breathe
Strip yourself naked
With black and brown gloves
It feels like peace when you put on your love.
Holy Women
I heard of a guy
Who could look you
In the eye
And say,
“Follow me I know where you’re going”
He had a beard
It is said
A face brown and red
Never seen
With a white collar
And robe
There’s a woman too
Sitting on a bar stool
Singing her legacy of
Blues
Into my soul
Like she’s welcome
Holy men pretend to know me
Holy women always seem to
After all
We are children of
Star storms
Delivery screams
And quiet caring
The wild side of Eve
Is hard
To get to
But I always
Feel like staying
When I get there
Her eyes speak
And say stay
Then sings
You’ve been a long time comin’
A long time running
A long time comin' fast and slow
You’ve been a loser and a winner
A longtime beginner
Come follow me all the way home
Come follow me all the way home
Yes, follow me all the way home
Hey Mom
Hey Mom, we’ll be right back.
We’ve been kicking and screaming forever.
You gave us the blankets of our being,
but did we even notice while attacking life naked and unarmed
that you were our warm fortress?
Hey, Mom, you worried for everyone but yourself.
Those scary nights always melted with your soft touch, and
we always got brave again in the light of day.
Eat your vegetables.
Supper is getting cold.
Where have you been?
What?!
The years marched by like soldiers who blindly obey.
You still hear us calling in our quiet times
after the world has spanked us and sent us to our rooms.
Hey, Mom, who cried with more joy and sadness than you?
A loaf of bread and a gallon of milk...
We leave for the store for the very last time.
Walking safely on the scent of your soft embrace,
we start to understand the meaning of love.
Hey Mom
Catherine Jean by Don Hooper
Hey Catherine Jean
Sure seems like a long time since we talked
You’ve been gone so very long
And you’ve missed so very much
Just seems like a forever since we talked
I’m so sorry
that I wasn’t there for you at your darkest times
Had I understood what was going on
How bad you must have felt inside
I would try to pull you through your darkest time
Jean, in my dreams I see the image of your face
Catherine Jean
Growing up at the park
Playing tag in the dark
Scared and cold and
Coming home to you
Safe at home
Warm with you
Jean, in my dreams I hear an echo of your voice
Catherine Jean
Swimming at the creek all day
Late again
Supper’s put away
You turn and smile
And say, you’d think you’d learn
You'll never learn, Don
Catherine Jean
Your little man Chad has a brother and sister of his own
Mom, you would be so proud
Of all the things they do so right
Living their lives straight and strong
Just wish you could see how much they’ve grown
How they’ve grown Mom
Jean, you stood alone and went toe-to-toe with life
Catherine Jean
Four hungry mouths to feed
Taking care of all our needs
I stand in awe of the strength you had inside
You’re a hero – Catherine Jean
Jean, your sacrifice gave us all a chance at life
Catherine Jean
Sons and daughters yet to come
Will never know that you’re the one
That every breath they draw they draw from you
Live forever – Catherine Jean
Rest in peace Mom
My Catherine Jean
*This is a special one written as song by my brother Don who died August 15, 2021 before he could record it. Dave Nye put music to it, but I couldn’t do it justice when I tried singing it. I ended up recording it as a poem. Rest in peace Bro
Where We Come From
The James Webb cosmos photos
swallowed my eyes with depth and beauty
made me think…Love
How big and small it can be,
the depth
the inward outward expanse,
bright beginnings explosive ends.
Love, like galaxies and stars, comes and goes in all sizes.
Star-crossed passings,
nebulas of confusion
trying to see supreme light
our senses scatter,
hormones jump like frightened fish.
“Better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all,” writes Tennyson.
Grief might disagree, M’Lord.
Some say love is learned,
not seeds growing in stardust.
If you don’t believe in the love particle,
you haven’t felt its gravity on you like
the weight of a thousand suns,
needing to be inside someone else’s being
an implosion of
white-hot passion
lighting up the night.
Love can burn your wings or
warm your soul.
Like the dust we come from,
it may be too small to see
But it can bake or break your sanity.
I feel close to the fire
when I see eyes that know me,
not the pretend me, but
the me who talks to the stars
those mothers and fathers of me up there
showing themselves
from where they no longer are.
Never Lonely
I was lost
We were young
I couldn’t stay I couldn’t run
You found the me I didn’t know
You held me tight
We never let go.
Sing it sing it loud
Sing it low
Sing it like
The Long and Winding Road
Listen to the hush
Listen for the cheers
I’m never lonely knowing you are here
It’s your love
that kept me sane
Kept me dry in the pouring rain
We kissed the moon
and kicked the sky
Our love is ours
yours and mine
Sing it sing it loud
Sing it low
Sing it like
The Long and Winding Road
Listen to the hush
Listen for the cheers
I’m never lonely knowing you are here
Sweetness
If I knew I’d never see you again
I’d take a perfect photo of your face
If I knew this was the last song for us
I would dance you all over the place
I would sing and shout
And swing you all about
We’d celebrate all day and all night
The sweetness you brought into my life
If knew I’d never hear your voice again
I’d record every word in my head
If I knew your words and laugh were gone
I’d put music to everything you said
I would sing and shout
And swing you all about
We’d celebrate all day and all night
The sweetness you brought into my life
If I knew I’d never kiss your lips again
Oh, I’d kiss them until we couldn’t breathe
If I knew I’d never feel your skin on mine
I would hold on so you couldn’t leave
I would sing and shout
And swing you all about
We’d celebrate all day and all night
The sweetness you brought into my life
Nice to Meet You
Tell me the story of your life
I’ll tell you mine it might take all night
I have known you for a thousand years
Nice to meet you my dear
I jumped around from town to town
Joined the army to turn around
I couldn't find what was under my nose
Someone said that’s just how it goes
Made my way down to New Orleans
Got propositioned by a nighttime queen
She said come on and follow me
I said no thank you my dear
Took off for LA in my pickup truck
Stopped in Vegas and ran out of luck
A one-eyed jack took every single buck
Lights in my rearview mirror
Tell me the story of your life
I’ll tell you mine if it takes all night
I have known you for a thousand years
Nice to meet you, my dear
Nice to meet you, my dear
Tin Cup
Sitting outside the Hard Rock
With a tin cup in my hand
Drop in a quarter
To see if I will stand
I don’t dance on strings
Or wobbly things
There isn’t much here
When you look closely
Faces pass by
Like old and new cars
Not showing the dings in their fenders
Some are happy
Others in pain
Sadness seeks refuge in smiles
I just dropped my lucky penny
Watched it roll inside toward the band
Sitting outside the Hard Rock
With a tin cup in my hand
Thinking About You
Summer days
Fully dazed
How young we were
Confused for sure
Moon and stars
Grassy yards
As stiff as stone
All alone
Thinking about you
I knew the way
I knew the crime
You pulled me back
Just in time
You pulled me back
Just in time
War was on
Vietnam
Kids in boxes
Wailing moms
Thinking about you
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Thinking about you
You’re as warm as summer rain
The light that kept me sane
The reverie I do is thinking about you
Windy city
Bryn Mawr Ave
All we took
Is all we had
Drunken toad
Dead on the road
Resurrected
Head to toe
Resurrected
Head to toe
Headed south
Like a bird in Fall
Old age running
Toward the mall
On the street
Round the bend
Love is here
Like it’s always been
Love is here
Like it’s always been
You’re as warm as summer rain
The light that kept me sane
The reverie I do is
Thinking about you
Soft rain
In your summer eyes
Playing slow
Deep inside
Thinking about you
At First Sight
I don’t know you
But I know you
That’s all I need to know
A smile as warm as sunshine
I’ll take it everywhere I go
I can’t see tomorrow
Can’t see that far away
There is starlight in your windows
There’s moonlight on the bay
Be with me
Stay with me
Darling darling
Stay with me
I don’t know you
But I love you
A storm’s growing in our eyes
We’ll make our love like a hurricane
Blowing strong into our lives
I can’t see tomorrow
Can’t see that far away
There is starlight in your windows
There’s moonlight on the bay
Be with me
Stay with me
Darling darling
Stay with me
Can You See Me
Waiting on every corner
Dreaming dreaming of your face
Hoping
For tomorrow
With yesterday back in its place
Can you see me
Standing like a statue in the rain
Waiting for your face to appear
Do you see me here
Can you feel me
When the darkness closes its back door
When I can't quite take anymore
Do you feel me
Do you feel me at all
Fading into a stranger
Singing
Another song
Knowing how I love you
It’s been your face all along
Can you see me
Standing like a statue in the rain
Waiting for your face to appear
Do you see me here
Can you feel me
When the darkness closes its back door
When I can't quite see you anymore
Do you feel me do you feel me at all
The Spin
Hey little boy
I see you’re looking sad
I heard the news
I know you lost your dad
Don’t stay angry
You’re gonna be okay
Don’t you worry
You’re gonna find your way
Life spins love day by day
Hey little boy
You’re crying in your room
Don’t be afraid
Your mama she’ll be home soon
You won’t be lonely
You’re gonna to be okay
She’ll be your hero
And help you find your way
Life spins love day by day
Day by day by day by day by day
Hey young lad
That girl’s knockin’ at your door
Friends and love
are what the spin is for
She’ll make you happy
Of that you can be sure
She’s gonna love you
And always give you more
Life spins love day by day
Hey old man
I see that little boy in there
He found his way
Stumbling up all those stairs
You lost your anger
Somewhere along the way
And you know now
Your kids will be okay
Life spins love day by day
Day by day by day by day by day
Thinking About You
Summer days
Fully dazed
How young we were
Confused for sure
Moon and stars
Grassy yards
As stiff as stone
All alone
Thinking about you
I knew the way
I knew the crime
You pulled me back
Just in time
You pulled me back
Just in time
War was on
Vietnam
Kids in boxes
Wailing moms
Thinking about you
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Thinking about you
You’re as warm as summer rain
The light that kept me sane
The reverie I do is thinking about you
Windy city
Bryn Mawr Ave
All we took
Is all we had
Drunken toad
Dead on the road
Resurrected
Head to toe
Resurrected
Head to toe
Headed south
Like a bird in Fall
Old age running
Toward the mall
On the street
Round the bend
Love is here
Like it’s always been
Love is here
Like it’s always been
You’re as warm as summer rain
The light that kept me sane
The reverie I do is
Thinking about you
Soft rain
In your summer eyes
Playing slow
Deep inside
At First Sight
I don’t know you
But I know you
That’s all I need to know
A smile as warm as sunshine
I’ll take it everywhere I go
I can’t see tomorrow
Can’t see that far away
There is starlight in your windows
There’s moonlight on the bay
Be with me
Stay with me
Darling darling
Stay with me
I don’t know you
But I love you
A storm’s growing in our eyes
We’ll make our love like a hurricane
Blowing strong into our lives
I can’t see tomorrow
Can’t see that far away
There is starlight in your windows
There’s moonlight on the bay
Be with me
Stay with me
Darling darling
Stay with me
Can You See Me
Waiting on every corner
Dreaming dreaming of your face
Hoping
For tomorrow
With yesterday back in its place
Can you see me
Standing like a statue in the rain
Waiting for your face to appear
Do you see me here
Can you feel me
When the darkness closes its back door
When I can't quite take anymore
Do you feel me
Do you feel me at all
Fading into a stranger
Singing
Another song
Knowing how I love you
It’s been your face all along
Can you see me
Standing like a statue in the rain
Waiting for your face to appear
Do you see me here
Can you feel me
When the darkness closes its back door
When I can't quite see you anymore
The Spin
Hey little boy
I see you’re looking sad
I heard the news
I know you lost your dad
Don’t stay angry
You’re gonna be okay
Don’t you worry
You’re gonna find your way
Life spins love day by day
Hey little boy
You’re crying in your room
Don’t be afraid
Your mama she’ll be home soon
You won’t be lonely
You’re gonna to be okay
She’ll be your hero
And help you find your way
Life spins love day by day
Day by day by day by day by day
Hey young lad
That girl’s knockin’ at your door
Friends and love
are what the spin is for
She’ll make you happy
Of that you can be sure
She’s gonna love you
And always give you more
Life spins love day by day
Hey old man
I see that little boy in there
He found his way
Stumbling up all those stairs
You lost your anger
Somewhere along the way
And you know now
Your kids will be okay
Life spins love day by day
Day by day by day by day by day
Everything Reminds Me of You
Long time since yesterday
Don’t know what I’d say
If I ever saw you again
Searched every street in town
Cafes and holy ground
You’re the only one I ever knew
Everything reminds me
Everything reminds me
Yes, everything reminds me of you
Slide over darlin’
I can’t start the engine
Till we say goodbye
You walked away slowly
Didn’t tell me you were going
I looked up with no time to cry
Long time since you’ve been gone
Never knew what went wrong
I just want to see you again
Searched every street in town
Cafes and holy ground
You’re the only one I ever knew
All the words have been playing
Like an old Dylan tune
Everything reminds me of you
I’ll always be here
Standing where you left me
With all this weight on my heart
Always feels lonely
Singing to the faithful
I still see your face in the dark
Everything reminds me
Everything reminds me
Everything reminds me of you
10,000 Tears
It felt like the Earth had broken in two
When we said goodbye
The bottom had made its way up to the top
Right before our eyes
You’re the beginning and end that I see
I’m in the car on the phone
I can’t even cry this time
All alone
10,000 tears dust and gone
10,000 tears
The rain don’t care now
10,000 tears
All gone wrong
10,000 tears
Wash off tomorrow
10,000 tears dust and gone
I think my soul is running away
The sadness spills out so slow
I’m afraid to just open my eyes
Can’t stay with nowhere to go
You’re the beginning and end that I see
I’m in the car on the phone
I can’t even cry this time
10,000 tears dust and gone
10,000 Tears cont.
10,000 tears
The rain don’t care now
10,000 tears
All gone wrong
10,000 tears
Wash off tomorrow
10,000 tears
Dust and gone
10,000 Tears cont.
10,000 tears
Wash off tomorrow
10,000 tears
Dust n gone
I’ve never been a big Country and Western fan outside Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, etc., but this sad Country tune popped out and evolved. It puzzled me where it came from. Then I remembered this old tune my mom liked called “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” — by Hank Williams. Well, I knew Hank was a C&W legend and I got interested in him and watched a YouTube bio. His music was a product of Black blues music. A Black dude taught him to play. He wrote 167 songs. Artists like Nora Jones, Ray Charles, Dylan and many others have recorded his songs. He died when he was only 30 in 1953.
Your Song Won’t Write Itself
Your song won’t ever write itself
Ain’t gonna write itself
You can’t play it on Pandora
You can’t buy it off the shelf
It ain’t gonna write itself
So, write it on every empty wall
Write on the floor and in the hall
Write it on your way out the door
Write it til you can’t write anymore
Your song won’t ever write itself
Ain’t gonna write itself
You can’t play it on pandora
You can’t buy it off the shelf
It ain’t gonna write itself
Write it with your fingers and your toes
Write it til everybody knows
Write it if you go or if you stay
Love’s gonna love you anyway
Write with the dreams you believe
Write it every time you breathe
Write it with your joy and your pain
You won’t be back this way again
Write with the dreams you believe
Write it every time you breathe
Write it with your joy and your pain
You won’t be back this way again
Rooster
There’s a backroad I dream about
Wanna get out there to twist n’ shout
I want to feel it like a punch in the mouth
Come on come on come on come on
You look like something I used to dig
Don’t just stand there like Mr. big
I’ll put my vinyl on and start to sing
Come on come on come on come on come on
Where have you been hiding
Turn off that phone
The lights are out in the pool hall
The rooster he’s limpin’ on home
Now you’re back with the same old face
You start strutting all over the place
You want first but this isn’t a race
Come on come on come on come on come on
There’s nothing left but you still want more
There is a blanket in the bottom drawer
You sound like a mouse trying to roar
Come on come on come on come on come on
Where have you been hiding
Turn off that phone
The lights are out in the pool hall
The rooster he’s limpin’ on home
Yes he is
There’s a backroad I dream about
Wanna get out there to twist n’ shout
I want to feel it like a punch in the mouth
Come on come on come on come on come on
Turtle Blues
I’ve got those turtle blues
And I’m movin’ mighty slow
I’m stuck inside my hard shell
Don't know which way to go
I turned all my lights on
But there’s nobody home
Went down to the corner
To grab myself a beer
Got down to the corner
And no one was there
I’m standing on the outside
Just wishing you were here
Walked down on state street
And it started to snow
Walking down state street
Met a woman named Jo
I asked her where she’s going
And she told me where to go
I’ve got those turtle blues
And I’m movin’ mighty slow
Stuck inside my hard shell
Don't know which way to go
I Turned all my lights on
But there’s nobody home
I’ve got those lowdown, mid-town, mess around, slowdown,
turtle blues
Magic
Could I could I dance with a flower in my darkest hour
To see my way through
And could I
Could I walk on the sand
Would the sea understand
I’m all covered in blue
As many times as I’ve been down I’ve been back up again
Standing with wonder in my eyes
The only thing I really know
Is just how fast it goes
This magic this magic of life
I will I will feel the sway in the very same way
As I did once before
And I will I will dance with a flower
And sing out louder than ever before
As many times as I’ve been down I’ve been back up again
Standing with wonder in my eyes
The only thing I really know
Is just how fast it goes
This magic this magic of life
And I have I have danced with a flower
And sang out louder
Than ever before
But the only thing I really know
Is just how fast it goes
This magic this magic of life
Hold On
There's no pictures
There's no shelves and no walls
There's nothing left standing inside the great hall
Except the promise we made
The poems are there in the palm of your hand
Squeeze 'em tight
And try to understand
That I love you
And hang on to your memories
They might be the only things
That ever keep you sane
Hold on tight and always know
It's the only way that I can be
Wherever you will go
There's no movie
There's no book and no ground
There's no proof we ever made a sound
Where did our time go
Drive back to the park and spend an hour or two
Do that for us if it's the last thing you do
Cause I’m waiting there
And hang on to your memories
They might be the only things
That ever keep you sane
Hold on tight and always know
It's the only way that I can be wherever you will go
Yes, it's the only way that I can be wherever you will go
We Are Love (song)
We are love
We are children
We are seeds from stars above
We were made to love each other
Come on people, we are love
We are, we are love
We are we are love
Guns are gods on the altar
Sacrifices must be made
Sandy Hook to Columbine
Trigger fingers digging graves
Fill breadbaskets with dead children
The metal gods must be fed
How much blood will it take
Before the wailing turns your head
We are, we are love we are we are love
Greed is bad
So feed the hungry
Hatred eats away the soul
We are all the same religion
Breathe the love that makes you whole
Stop the bombs
Stop the terror
Stop the rage at home tonight
Imagine all our children
Living safe in peace and light
We are, we are love we are, we are love
We are
Happy is on Me
Happy is on me
I’m not sure exactly why
Happy just hopped on board
I’m gonna take a little ride
Don’t know how I got this old
that boy in here don’t care
Last night we sang our tunes
Your voice was soft and bare
My headphones have stopped working
You’re in them anyway
Gonna slip you on
And smile through the day
Happy is on me
And you’re the reason why
Happy just hopped on board
Gonna take a little ride
When my words lose their meaning
When my knocking doesn’t rhyme
Your door swings wide-open
And we dance away the time
Happy is on me
And you’re the reason why
Happy just hopped on board
Gonna take a little ride
Happy is on Me cont.
Happy is on me
And you’re the reason why
Happy just hopped on board
Gonna take a little ride
Happy is on me
Love is the reason why
Happy just hopped on board
Gonna take a little ride
Gonna take a little ride
Gonna take a little ride
Gonna take…
A…
little …
Hard To Tell
7 angry children in the middle of the road
Shabby little prophets
Hungry and bold
They’ve got one foot in heaven
One in hell
It looks like they’re praying
But it's hard to tell
Looks like they’re praying
But it's hard to tell
2 fallen angels singing in the wings
Second-hand statues
Trying to get in
They've got one foot in heaven
Two in hell
It looks like they're crying
But it's hard to tell
Looks like they're crying
But it's hard to tell
There’s a thin place calling at half past 12
Should I buy
Or should I sell
I’m 10 steps from heaven
One from hell
Seems like the long way
But it's hard to tell
Seems like the long way
But it's hard to tell
Lord almighty it’s so hard to tell
I Can’t Love You Anymore
I’ve been a soldier for your love
I’ve given
Given every drop of blood
Been in the trenches
Gone door to door
But I can’t love you any more
I can’t love you any more
Love you forever there’s no cure
Lost all the battles
Lost every war
I can’t love you any more
You’re not here and you’re not a dream
One more whisper
One more whisper and I’ll scream
Songs I have written
Are shredded on the floor
Cause I can’t love you any more
I didn’t realize that I died
Should have seen it in your eyes
I’m just another body
That washed up on the shore
I can’t love you any more
I can’t love you any more
Love you forever there’s no cure
Lost all the battles
Lost every war
I can’t love you any more
Put Your Love On
Take off your face
Put it under your chair
Your poison breath is wilting the air
The scowl you’ve been drinking
Isn’t what you’re made of
Take off your blinders
And put on your love
Take off your banner
Take off your sway
Take your bullets and throw them away
Take off your trousers
All splattered with blood
Scrub off the hate and put on your love
Take off your Christian
Take off your Jew
Take off your Islam
Your atheist too
Take off your cloak all covered in mud
Take off those beads
And put on your love
Put your love on
Take off that hat
Take off your seethe
Howling at rainbows is no way to breathe
Strip yourself naked
With black and brown gloves
It feels like peace when you put on your love.
Put that love on
The Place Where Love Is
Deep inside who we are
Is a gift from an unknown star
The place
Where love is
Anger won’t scream and shout
It gets in but it can’t get out
Of the place
Where love is
So let it be love
Let it be peace
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
Let it be love
Let it be peace
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
Truth is the only sound
When love is all around
In the place
Where love is
Hate will destroy your soul
To survive you must go
To the place
Where love is
So let it be love
Let it be peace
The Place Where Love Is cont.
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
Let it be love
Let it be peace
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
You can't buy your way inside
The door is open wide
To the place
Where love is
Do unto others now
Kindness will show you how
In the place
Where love is.
So, let it be love
Let it be peace
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
Let it be love
Let it be peace
Let it be kindness
Let it be us
Shadow Figure
shadow figure walkin in the rain
i’ll never love anyone like her again
shadow figure walkin
i’m a shadow figure walkin
shadow figure walkin in the rain.
it started the day that she left
it’s been a hundred years and I can’t forget her
shadow figure walkin
shadow figure walkin in the rain
i’m an outline of who i used to be
she was the color inside of me
shadow figure walkin
i’m a shadow figure walkin
shadow figure walkin in the rain
busted up on the side of the road
she’s the only person i’ve ever really known
shadow figure walkin
shadow figure walkin in the rain
i’m weary and soaked to the skin
don’t know where going, don’t know where i’ve been
shadow figure walkin
i’m a shadow figure walkin
shadow figure walkin in the rain
i’m never gonna see her again
no, i’m never gonna see her again
i’m just shadow figure walking in the rain
Wheelchair Blues
I’m not your inspiration
Destination
Don’t worry
You’re better off that way
This chair is about my freedom
Stop and see ‘em
Don’t count yourself so lucky
That you’re you
And you’re not me
Don’t need pity
I didn’t ask you
Don’t want pity
I’m not your Tiny Tim
Keep your pity
I’m not an angry cripple
Keep your pity
I’m not your glass of gin
My shoes will never fit you
Lift or equip you
Your end doesn’t start here
I’m not dead and I’m not gone
Don’t need pity
I didn’t ask you
Don’t want pity
I’m not your Tiny Tim
Keep your pity
I’m not an angry cripple
Wheelchair Blues cont.
Keep your pity
I’m not your glass of gin
I am very much alive here
Survived and thrived here
Don’t count yourself so damn lucky
That you’re you
And you’re not me
Don’t need pity
I didn’t ask you
Don’t want pity
I’m not your Tiny Tim
Keep your pity
I’m not an angry cripple
Keep your pity
I’m not your glass of gin
Color of Midnight
There’s no color left in midnight
I can’t remember the light of day
The clock on the wall isn’t moving at all
The darkness is here to stay
Every shadow looks at me like it knows me
Each tear tortures my heart
Without my lover there is no color
No, no color left in midnight
I cry till I don't care
Reach through the midnight air
My next breath is going insane
Midnight whispers her name
I'm on this wheel till morning
Blaming it on what I said that night
There’s nowhere to go inside this black hole
There’s no color left in midnight
I cry till I don't care
Reach through the midnight air
My next breath is going insane
Midnight whispers her name
I cry till I don't care
Reach through the midnight air
My next breath is going insane
Midnight whispers her name
There’s no color left in midnight
Big Black Door
Somethin’s gonna get ya
That’s for sure
Right behind the big black door
You can’t know what or who
Somethin’s gonna put an end to you
Black or white
Yellow brown
City lights
Country town
It don’t matter
Gay or straight
Fat or thin
Integrate
Whiskey gin
It don’t matter
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
That’s for sure
Right behind the big black door
You can’t know what or who
Somethin’s gonna put an end to you
Sweet or nasty
Big or small
Happy lonely
Off the wall
Big Black Door cont.
It don’t matter
Old or young
Rich or poor
Song unsung
Wanting more
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
That’s for sure
Right behind the big black door
You can’t know what or who
Somethin’s gonna put an end to you
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
Somethin’s gonna get ya
That’s for sure
Right behind the big black door
You can’t know what or who
Somethin’s gonna put an end to you
This is a tough subject. Lately, people have been dying around me left and right from all sorts of causes. The song started as a defense mechanism to all that. I created a Halloween video to mask its depressive vibe. The video is on YouTube. Boo!
Open Your Door
What if I said my eyes are closed lookin' at your smile
What if I said the wine sits here
It's been sitting for a while
And what if I said I’m lonely
And I can't go on like this
What if I said I search for you
In the sunshine and the mist
And what if I said I’m bleeding
From the ceiling to the floor
What if I said that
Would you still not open your door
What if I said I need you you're the air that I breathe
What if I said my dreams of you
Are the dreams that I believe
And what if I said my memories
Are all that keep me sane
What if I said I miss your lips
I want to kiss them again
And what if I said I’m bleeding
From the ceiling to the floor
What if I said that
Would you still not open your door
Yes what if I said I’m bleeding
From the ceiling to the floor
And what if said I’m sorry
I should have loved you more
What if I said that
Would you still not open your door
Come to Me
in my quiet time, you come to me
when the night needs fire, you come for me
under the willow's smile, you come to me
for miles and miles, you come for me
yeah, we feel the same, don't we?
we play the game, don't we?
we love the rain now don't we?
cause there's nowhere else to go
and if the demon screams, i will come to you
when the serpent gleams, i will come for you
whisper my name, and i'll come to you
be it pleasure or pain, i will come for you
yeah, we feel the same, don't we?
we play the game, don't we?
we love the rain now don't we?
cause there's nowhere else to go
saint in white satin
bitch in leather black
you're my cinderella
and i'll come for you
in a far off place, you will come for me
in your tight embrace, i will come for you
yeah, we feel the same, don't we?
don't we
don't we
Sometimes
She left me a long time ago
The trees aren't as green as they were
I don't walk in the park anymore
It makes me think about her
So sometimes I burst out cryin’
Sometimes I stare at the wall
Sometimes I go out and scream at the sun
Sometimes I feel nothin’ at all
So whattaya do when you lose your best friend
Who you gonna call in the night
Where is that switch that turns me into me
Who's gonna make it alright
Sometimes I burst out cryin’
Sometimes I stare at the wall
Sometimes I go out and scream at the sun
Sometimes I feel nothin’ at all
Morning falls into shadow
I'm sitting in the dark at home
I know I’ll never see you again
I've got to do this alone
Sometimes I burst out cryin’
Sometimes I stare at the wall
Sometimes I go out and scream at the sun
Old Man
There’s an old man sitting on a rock by a stream
He’s got one foot in the water trying to wash it clean
He’s dreaming he’s a cowboy riding with the wind
He keeps looking behind but no one’s after him
There he goes… there he goes…there he goes
He grew up watching cowboys Matt Dillon on TV
Rowdy was his hero the range it should be free
His foot’s a little better the water’s fast and cold
He should have been a cowboy but now he’s too damn old
There he goes… there he goes … there he goes
If God is the thunder and Jesus is the light
He’s spent a thousand lifetimes trying to get it right
And he thinks about his lover and he thinks about that night
When she climbed so far inside of him he almost lost his mind
There he goes… there he goes… there he goes
Repeat verse two and three
There he goes
There he goes
There he goes
Again and Again
You’re softer than a morning kiss
The summer in my day
You’re the reason for each breath I take
The laughter in my veins
I did nothing to deserve you
I didn’t know how to try
Your love came in soft and bright
And lit me up inside
It was you in the beginning
It is you in the end
Again and again again again and again
You’re a flower garden rainbow
A movie in black-and-white
You’re a mythological hero
A secret in the night
I did nothing to deserve you
I didn’t know how to try
Your love came in soft and bright
And lit me up inside
It was you in the beginning
It is you in the end
Again and again again again and again
It was you in the beginning
It is you in the end
Again and again again again and again
What Have I Done with My Life
What have I done with my life
How did I get here so soon
That boy in the mirror
He sees me clearer
Than anyone else in the room
And what have I done with my heart
She is the breeze inside of me
Love is all that we keep
Why we laugh and we weep
The rest gets washed out to sea.
I was never a devil or saint
Didn’t always do the best I could
I stood and I fell
And I loved you like hell
In the end that’ll stand as it should
If this is really all that there is
What a beautiful ride
My friends are all true
Couldn’t have done it without you
All standing there by my side
So when you think of me like yesterday
Celebrate that boy in the man
He was a song
That God jotted down
So sing it as best as you can
What Have I Done with My Life cont.
Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Halle Halle Halle
Halle Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Halle Halle Halle Halle Hallelujah
Repeat Chorus
These final hallelujahs were sung by our whole family: Cindy, Stacey, Shani, Jim, Alex, Paul, and me. Dave Nye put it together. I start and then Cindy comes in with her wonderful voice and then everyone. Makes me cry when I listen.
Photo Alex and Jim.
My mom and Dad. Young and in love. These are memories of family and friends – loved ones. Sadly, loss is part of life. None of us get out alive, but there are so many joyful memories.
My Father Sang to Jeannie (also song)
My father sang to Jeannie
With the light brown hair
Darkness took his love from her
No way back from there
And she cried for love
I believe in it I do
She cried for love
I believe in it I do
Lonely little boy
Lying still in my room
On the wrong side of midnight
Waiting for my mama to come home
I whispered for love
I believe in it I do
I whispered for love
I believe in it I do
She was a gift
I opened in the dark
She spilled out like sweetness
She poured into my heart
And I sang out for love
I believe in it I do
I sang out for love
I believe in it I do
I believe in it I do
And when I dream of her I sing I love you
Went looking for Jesus
Under the steeples and sin
They said, slip on our sandals boy
Or you’ll never walk with him
Still I prayed for love
It’s a dark road to nowhere
So my pearls light the way
I squeeze them like sunshine
And the darkness peels away.
I feel their love
I believe in it I do
I feel their love
I believe in it I do, I do, I do
I believe in it I do
And when I dream of them I sing
I love you
My father sang to Jeannie
And she loved to hear him sing
They’re standing on the front porch
Calling me home again
Now I understand love
I believe in it I do
I understand love
I believe in it I do
I do I do I do
Loss
Silent, innocent, two-day wind
Whisked into yesterday
A sweet-bitter wisp
Not forgotten
Mostly unspoken
The pain, loss, and anger
Sleeping beneath the disbelief
Of an impossible day
We still breathe the sadness
For Michael Our Son
Precious Stone
Grief is of a weight
Words cannot carry
I was eight years old
Safe under a tranquil sky
When a bolt of loss struck us
My father died
Repression grabbed my mind and
Cloaked all my memories of him
Everyone told me he was
A good man
A good father
His loss
Molded me
Folded me
Wrinkled me
Left our family with
An unhealable wound
I still hear my mother weeping
Somehow love showed me
The path
But not how to travel it
I was often a poor caretaker
Of this precious stone I carry
Yet blessed by the love of many
Through deep and fast waters
Deserts and trees
Over gravel mountains
Heat and freeze
Near the end of my future
Ancient waters are now
Washing my thoughts into
Honest corners
I must deal with my life mirror
To ask and answer life questions
Time is running faster and winning
A race it always wins
Still I carry the gift
Made on a cold December night
With the purity
Of my Mother and Father’s love
When
When I cannot run
I will jog
When I cannot jog
I will walk fast
When I cannot walk fast
I will walk slow
When I cannot walk slow
I will limp slow
When I cannot limp slow
I will roll
When I cannot roll
I will ruminate
When I cannot ruminate
I will fly on the wind of memory
A Better Place
Six times standing on the same bleak hill
The dull drumbeat of “God’s will” and “a better place”
Pounding my ears like blunt pins
Each time came a scream louder within
This is not the will of any love I know!
Has my brother’s soul like billions before him
Been shed from our blue ship into the well of space
Disappearing for memory to find
Or have one-and-all gone ahead to discuss God with God
Six times I slumped down that family hill
Searching without a bridge in sight
My blue eyes have lied before in ink and voice
Ideas skipping across the water like flat bullshit
What am I to make of myself
Paddling here against the current
Why should I write another word
I stand on this round stage mostly unheard
This pity trek is not as hopeless as it sounds
The scribble still dribbles down my arm
Being loved by so many here and gone
Is a joyous life-kiss to behold and cherish
This I owe them
If my every ode gets used for tinder
I will start over awake and in dreams
Floating words on paper boats
Down the same muddy stream
Ongoing
When we lose those we love
It pummels and strangles our hearts
That ache is ours to keep
The sorrow
That deep in the bone sorrow
It gushes and spills out
It claws out like razor wire
Ripping holes in today and tomorrow
Time doesn’t heal us
It peels us
Into nothing at all
Loss hides in us like puzzle pieces
We find mindful sanctuary
In music
The sea
A burger
Glass of beer
A good book or movie
Flowers and stars
We are the keepers and tellers of those gone
In reverence, reverie, and love
Until we too
Take our place in fragmented memory
When the Tracks are Gone
How do they remember to grow straight
those oiled trees
that blink by
while you and I
dull to the changing sky
ride the same invisible tracks?
Word is,
they're being tore up
the tracks led to dirt wandering.
The rails forgot the way…
the same places have new names.
We’ve been parallel too long:
never able to travel left or right
eyes shaped through gaps in the boxcar
the last of the wheelchair hobos
squinting
at the wildflowers.
I’ll remember this song
when the tracks are all gone
to ride the uncertain breeze.
I will fill my sails
made of rusty rails
and sing it to the rhythm of my wheels.
Fickled Muse
Fickled muse
Seductress
pretending in on holy ribbon
then running off like a horny harlot
You told me you were a god
And my words flowed down my arm
to the page like the waterfall wisdom
of unknown dead prophets
You exhausted me with your nonstop lovemaking
I needed a rest
a break
a breath
Not abstinence!
What kind of two-timing god are you anyway
Stay wherever there is
Go make love to the next Gauguin
I can scribble pseudo philosophy
into this man-shambles of a world without you
You are a figment of a figment
a soft-skinned
hard-edged illusion
Who I need
like oxygen
Yellow Line (poem/song)
followin the yellow line down the road
green signs sayin i'm lost again
movin down the road movin down the road
she's in my mirror, she's everywhere
the touch of her skin, the smell of her hair is in me
i'm movin down the road i'm movin down the road
movin down the road
it's been so long since i've seen the sun
there's nowhere to go when you're on the run
i'm movin down the road movin down the road
a crazy old man is yellin turn around
she's everything you lost and everything you found, go to her but i'm movin down the road i'm movin down the road
movin down the road
the night scatters lights into my eyes
it shatters the darkness and i crumble inside
i'm movin down the road
movin down the road
both hands on the wheel in a blinding rain
all i wanna do is just see her again and hold her
but i'm movin down the road movin down the road
followin the yellow line down the road
green signs sayin i'm lost… again
Sail Away
Sail away young woman
Take your island with you
Take its truth and its gentle breeze
Take the love your sandy days provided
Sail into the calm and stormy seas
Be yourself
When you get angry
Don’t let hatred take the wheel
There are pirates dressed as holy men
It’s your soul they want to steal
Carry freedom
Like a suffrage banner
Carry kindness like a sword
Carry the wild wind inside you
Take your love to every shore
Brave your wings
To hug all those around you
Leave your goodness on every windowpane
Take all your mothers and sisters with you
They will guide you through the rain
They will guide you through the rain
So Sail away
Sail away
A Radical Lass She Was
I confess
I believed the holy men lies
The ugly TV and print voices
branded her crazy
I stopped listening to
Her angelic peace voice
And
Her angry howl
A radical lass she was
Retro hero she is
Painted villain by villains
But she had eyes that knew something
Looking out
At fickled souls who cheered
But never saw her
Fans (not all) became spam
got swept up in the mob’s
Dirty dustpan
(yes, me too)
We couldn’t believe
Holy men could do such unholy things
The lashing of children’s souls
One by one lash by lash day by day
And then other holy ones
Cloaking it under their blessed robes
She channeled her truth
And burned holes in the holy
The boos rained down on her beauty
Like savage blades
She sang through and got past
The depressing stabs
Searching, like us all…
I want to be bitter for her
But this “too little too late” poem
Is a selfish apology
No communion was served
Yet all 64 inches of her did not yield
She sang on as the Celtic banshees called
Sinead’s lovely wail was that of myth
Of wild angry gods
And now I am really listening…
Sinéad O'Connor
Pieces of a Hero
Part I
He was a quiet hero—
an unknown superstar.
The earth knew him, though,
when his footsteps thundered
respectfully over it.
He kneaded the soil,
felt the dirt's lungs,
and prepared them to breathe.
I look at the furrowed rows—
new plants peeking out...
the birds tipping their wings
and forgetting to sing,
flowers facing the sun—weeping,
the dog wandering
beneath the cherry tree…
searching, like us,
for what made it all whole
Part II
"It's junk," someone said.
The rusty tools with wooden handles,
old bottles, hammers, bolts, saws, wire,
and God knows what
strewn about with at-the-time purpose.
They were artifacts.
Proof!
He knew war, sweat, honor, and self.
I spoke exactly how he would have said it,
"It's my junk."
Part III
Yet who am I to define grieving?
The little pieces we own:
our memories of another's being
explode like bombs in our heads
sending hot shrapnel
to slice a chunk of us,
and why we continue.
Now, as the dog stops to stare long at the house,
I think of Iggy dancing his garden dance,
and I look at the salvias shining red.
It's just like that
sly,
mischievous,
giggling,
old dirt-wizard
to take the wilt
and
leave the bloom.
Cindy’s dad. He had a huge garden and a bigger not-to-be-trifled-with heart. Smart. Trustworthy. Honest. Loyal. Decent. Honorable. Kind. Resolved. Veteran. American.
With love, for my friend, my hero, Iggy
Parting of the Ways
I don’t know where it’s at
The key is gone from under the mat
There’s no light left beneath your hat
What have you been looking at
Your eyes are stained with marmalade blood
Staying drunk on the lying flood was your decision
I don’t want to fight or talk
I just want to walk in the other direction
So, I don’t know where it’s at
The key is gone from under the mat
There’s no truth in an empty sack
What have you been looking at
Don’t stand so close to my face
Your space smells too much like poison
What you are selling I cannot eat
Even Jesus showed his teeth in the temple
I don’t know where it’s at
The key is gone from under the mat
What was there we can’t get back
What the hell have you been looking at
No, I don’t want to fight or talk
I just want to walk in the other direction
Isla
leaves lie quiet in the yard
like soldiers young and dead
on old white men’s lush red lawns
cars hum on a nearby road
the birdsongs paint faintly on my ears
three shots break the air
i jerk! jerk! jerk!
my startled bones hear
a mother’s screech
shatter the afternoon
echoing to Sandy Hook Elementary
and back
just six
Isla lies dead in her yard
the leaves shift
as a soft wind blows the frill on her light blue dress
the gun gods again shiny and appeased
I Know, You’d Rather Be Dead
Hallway whispers still echo
long after the pain was dragged off
and locked away in my mental stairwell.
I’ve heard your mezzanine words
fizz from my own mouth,
spilling out like warm numbing beer.
But death speaks a hot humid language
that forces the suck of air from a stone.
You see me happy and loved
like a birthday puppy,
yet you wonder
if it’s a frothy mask;
mumming the screech of depression.
You must think me a fortress
to defend such a veil,
or see me more a carcass
hanging fish-dumb on life’s hook.
My muscles are atrophying
and I gag on every bent walker
I ever swaggered by or thought to banter.
But Death?!
Do you imagine me happily wheeling
into a square silk-lined box,
needing but two pallbearers?
Or do you know they’d lay me out
the same as you or your brother George—
somehow dislocated from my round spoked legs?
Quadzilla Man
I’m a quadzilla man mama
Rolling into the wind
Quadzilla man mama
I'm in this to win
if you try to stop meeee.
My wheels ‘ll roll you thin
I’m not your bowl of sweetness
I’m not a bitter soul
Not your bowl of sweetness
I’m not a bitter soul
You think you know me
But that’s not how I roll
So open your doors bossman
Cuz i’m comin on in
Open those doors bossman
I’m comin on in
Don’t think you know who’s coming
You don’t know where i’ve been
Now if you think that i’m a cripple
Think I’m sad and small
If you think i’m a cripple
Who makes you big and tall
I’m here to tell you mister
You don’t know anything at all
Repeat First Verse
Hope and the Slaves of Squalor
I thought I heard a sunflower laugh today
or was it just smiling while turning its head
Hope will stand on its head for you
Do tricks for you
Juggle truth and lies for you
Paint dreams for you
Just ask the slaves of squalor
who get crucified daily
by the nails of greed and cruelty
They love hope
It lights the dark spaces
with faith of something greater… much later…
only to get drowned out by tsunamis of pain hunger and sorrow
as they run toward higher ground
Hope’s spring is eternal though
even after tears gush the well dry
we still seek the star we came from
to fill our hearts and eyes again and again
You know dogs and cats don’t care a scratch about salvation
Maybe afterlife is a wind-tossed blank piece of paper
we chase down a winding street… Maybe not
I don’t know about you but my legs are cramping up
So I stare out at the sunflowers and laugh with them about tomorrow
And hope humanity can somehow turn and face the sun
Angry God
An angry goddess knocked on my door
She was both tall and short
Had a smile that moved in every direction
A gorgeous hag
Dressed in beautiful rags
She said stop your grab of familiar rhymes
Do you remember where we used to go
Down to that glow in the old picture show
Silence
I felt the power of her wild grace
My eyes popped open in high definition
I saw a man who was drunk inside of himself
Was it me slurring or someone else
She said you’re a nail all covered in rust
Your dreams are yesterday’s dust
Was this goddess a god I could trust?
She carried in her own chair
We talked at the table for hours
Then she jumped up and started to dance
I didn’t know gods could dance
She swayed as her voice pitched and devoured
We’re going down to where we used to go
To that glow in the old picture show
I noticed she had the tickets in her vest
We jumped on the last train headed west
She stared right at me
I pretended not to see
The popcorn was the buttery best
I Can’t Write Poems No More
My pen breaks
again and again
Like memories
of a long-ago friend
My ink dreams are splattered
all over the floor
I can’t write poems no more
The words you read
jangle on the page
They embrace the joy
and stab at the rage
The letters are stick men
bleeding and sore
I can’t write poems no more
You’ll never know me
I never you
Verse is a wisp
a moment or two
We all swim here
and then wash up on shore
I can’t write poems no more
Read my eyes
from now on
They look like the truth
you could be wrong
My life is a peephole
through an open door
I can’t write poems no more
Light a candle
and think of me
Speak what you feel
not what you see
The melt is what’s left
of the flame’s weary whore
I can’t write poems no more
From the Backseat
From the backseat I can see
Many shades of me
Dancing like confetti on the floor
I can't believe I had the time
Bad jokes and bad rhymes
Beer cans on highway 29
I tell this story to remember
I retell it so I don’t forget
The corn is growing
The wind is blowing
The leaves aren’t golden quite yet
Summertime in the park
Playing tag in the dark
Making out on old country roads
War gods wrote my number down
Woke up as the plane touched down
Cold truth six feet underground
Jungles and the bloody rain
Trying not to go insane
Far from the games I once played
The young men with vacant eyes
Mother’s and their frantic cries
Old men’s dollar-sign disguise
I tell this story to remember
I retell it even when alone
The scarecrow is watching
The blackbirds are talking
Waiting for me to come home
Time is but a quiet thief
Don’t you dare fall asleep
You’ll wake up wondering where you are
The road will be keepin’ time
The trees stand in line
Out on ole 29
I tell my story to remember
I tell it cuz it must be said
There’s truth in my history
Tomorrow’s a mystery
The road’s still winding ahead
Come To See
I
I do believe
In you and me and something greater
Yes you
know who I am
Here I stand
In your doorway
Life is so beautiful
Life can be so kind
Every step along the way
Our love will make it shine
I’ve come to see
Yes I
have come to know
A flake of snow and your soft skin
You
you understand
That I’m just a man
Out on this highway
Life is so beautiful
Life can be so kind
Every step along the way
Our love will make it shine
I’ve come to see
Yes I
I do believe
The road for you
Is the road for me
Our Love
Will fill the air
With what we share
Now and forever
Life is so beautiful
Life can be so kind
Every step along the way
Our love will make it shine
I’ve come to see
What am I Thankful For
What am I thankful for
Oh God, where to start
Well, God would be a good place
Where do I send the prayer card
To a street number up high
Or cast my grateful breath to everywhere
How much beauty can one mind hold
Family and friends are jewels set in my heart
Reflecting precious love
Nature brimming green and gold
Four Sand Hill Cranes march by like I’m a nuisance
They don’t want to thank me or peck me
Those beaks dig down like stilettos
The geckos look on thankful they are not on the menu
Clouds are in a cool hurry
Pushed by Northwest wind
The blue-sky peeks out to say hello
It seems to know the stars have its back
The sun finds my face and closes my eyes
A quiet breeze reaches into my childhood
And says thank you
Epilogue
The complete audio playlist of Sand Pebbles is available on our Poetry Yes website (poetryyes.com). Take your time. If you find some you like, come back to the website. You can follow along with the lyrics in this book while listening to the recordings—the songs are there too. Also www.facebook.com/poetryyesEdGene/
This final page holds a photo of my two brothers, Don and Fred, my sister, Cathy, and me. All my birth family is gone now. It feels strange, almost wrong, to write those words. The memories—clouded and imperfect as they are—still tug at my heart and mind, and they undoubtedly shaped a lot of the work you’ve just read.
